How Do I Need To Change So That My Life Changes? The Road to Achieving My Self Improvement Goals

Written By Ramesh Kumar

Who do you want to be? Ask yourself: How does that person act?
How old are you? Ask yourself: How old do I act?
How healthy are you? Ask yourself: How healthy do I act?
How intelligent, ambitious, and successful are you? Ask yourself: How intelligent, ambitious, and successful do I act?

Embracing change and rediscovering yourself looks different for everyone. Here are some of the ideas and changes that stuck with me along my journey (which continues…and continues…and continues) toward self improvement.

Age Doesn’t Have to Be a Barrier to Self Improvement

If I were not reminded of my biological age (all too often) as part of my everyday life, I would assume I am as old as I feel in my head, which sometimes takes me back to my teenage self. Thank goodness I wake up from that nightmare with relief, knowing I loved that time but do NOT want to go back.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain

Mid-pandemic, I decided my life needed a shake-up. Was it the age talking? Quite possibly (for better and for worse). I sold my house and accepted a new job that took me from Boston to Los Angeles. My lackluster romantic life, the death of a parent, new city many miles from family and friends, and a new job created a perfect storm.

Big Life Changes and Self-Reflection

Big life events and changes always seem to come in clumps, no matter how hard I try to be deliberate and take things slowly. As the months passed, I became accustomed to being single, living in a new city, and settled into a new work-life. I started to come out of the fog that lots of change (and a scary pandemic) can produce.

Big changes often make me reflect on what is and isn’t working in my life. A pandemic apparently makes me feel like there is no time to waste figuring things out. Thinking about my age makes me feel like I have limited time to make changes despite not really feeling like I am running out of time. I look around at women who have started new projects, changed their careers, and upgraded their health in their 50s, 60s,70s, and beyond. I want to be one of those women and I want to meet more of those women.

Taking charge of my health (mental and physical) seemed like a good place to start. I have been one of many women who have been on and off the health bandwagon. Trying (and usually failing) the latest trends – paleo, keto, and fasting, to name a few. Reflection has made me face some of my lesser qualities in this area. I do not have a lot of staying power, that is to say, I get bored easily. What I thought was a lack of willpower turned out to be some inner childhood wounds that needed to be healed – but that is another blog post…or twenty!

The Importance of Awareness in Self Improvement

Awareness was a good place to start. I started asking myself a few questions when I was “aware” of my boredom, fragility, lack mentality, or feelings of unworthiness:

Am I present? Or am I ruminating on a past that I can’t change? My future needs to feel more important and more enticing than the pain of my past.

Am I trying to control or manipulate an outcome? Can I hold this (whatever it is) more lightly and be aware of my wants, needs, and boundaries without trying to control them?

Is this how I think a person who gets what they want acts? How does an abundant person act? How does a successful person act? How does someone with self-worth and peace of mind act? How does a person with a healthy body and mind act?

Awareness has not led to perfection, but it has given me pause, even if it’s just long enough to say to myself, ‘Do you really want to eat more? Are you still hungry, or is this just a pattern from your past?’, as a 10x a day example. In rougher moments, it can be the pause that reminds me not to step back into old reactionary patterns or go down that social media rabbit hole to see what someone who is not meant for me is up to. In other words, it can stop something that feels like a trigger from setting off an emotional bomb.

I am not saying that developing awareness for self improvement is easy, but it has gotten easier over time as I developed the habit. The moments of despair, frustration, or cravings are shorter and more manageable.

How My Self-Improvement Journey is Going

Don’t get me wrong, there are tears and anger, and I want cupcakes every other day. But I have some tools to get on with things, move forward, and feel lighter. In those moments, I try to ask myself, “Is this how a [fill in the blank] person would act or respond?” I am reminded to act like the person I want to be.

Resources That Have Helped Me Along the Way

I have also found some fantastic podcasts, recipes, products, and activities that have helped spur me on in my quest for health, career upgrades, and, of course, aging gracefully. Here are a few that have held my interest, given me valuable insight, and helped keep me on track:

Podcasts:

Products:

Four Game-Changing Self Improvement Tips That Have Transformed My Life

I discovered that transformation isn’t about drastic changes; it’s about making small, impactful shifts that lead to profound results. Here are four game-changing tips that helped me transform my second half, proving that it’s never too late to reinvent yourself and embrace a healthier, happier you.

  • An exercise routine—which for me looks like walking 5-6 days a week and strength training three times per week (in my living room). I also do squats, “counter push-ups,” chair dips, and “milk jug lifts” as they suit me throughout the day. I am pretty sure that helps, too.

  • Daily meditation. I meditate at least once a day for at least 30 minutes. I never believed I could meditate. It took me a few weeks of forcing myself to sit still and dragging my mind back when it wandered to really enjoy and appreciate the practice. Now, I can’t live without it.

  • Healthier eating. Cutting processed sugar and simple carbs from my diet has been a challenge. I love sweets, bread and pasta! But when I concentrate on being more mindful about my sugar intake, everything in my life feels better!

  • Mental health care. Taking my mental health seriously and giving it the time and energy that it deserves. Realizing that it takes time to find the right fit for therapy and the right mindset. Learning to be patient but persistent at the same time has been crucial.

Final Thoughts

Embracing change and rediscovering myself has been a journey, but it has brought me closer to the person who makes me feel comfortable, challenged, happy, and whole.

My time in California was a bridge to the other side for me. It was a place to get on my feet again and be with myself. I have reimagined my career to include writing and publishing; I have a new partner and a healthier body. Transformation is constant, and I try to embrace that change as much as possible, with a bit of ice cream thrown in the mix from time to time!

What big changes have you made in your life recently to achieve your self improvement goals? How have you embraced them? What are your top four game-changers?

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Ramesh Kumar
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